Ilkley Rocks

From the number of hits I’m getting from searches for ‘Ilkley Local History’ and the like, I’m assuming that IGS pupils have been set an Easter project. Just to let you know that nothing you read on here is true. Sorry. Move along.

Had a wander towards Addingham Moorside yesterday. Apart from all the gorgeous little lambs (but all white, have you noticed that? Have the BNP got to the farmers as well?), we’re following the path across fields, when suddenly, loads of fences, no arrows. No sign of path. We open gates. We check map. Quite obviously the right of way goes through Netherwood Farm. So where are the signs?

Isn’t it compulsory to mark out rights of way? Or is it a ploy to get us to wander onto ‘their’ land so they can not shoot us and then complain about the Labour partee restricting the right to kill anybody coming within a nhundred yards of one’s property?

The LibDems have selected their candidate for the constituency, Nader Fekri, who currently sits on Calderdale Council. Now, the LibDems have no chance in this constituency really (they got 10% of the vote last time out)–though Calder was a safe Labour area a decade ago, so you never know! However, as Keighley’s a marginal, the quality of their intervention could affect which way it swings.

At least the LibDems have had the balls to select someone who has a good record as an anti-facist campaigner. Which means we might get a proper debate. As opposed to bigot, bigoter and bigotest. He’s also local and as his biog. suggests, has got properly involved with the local communities. Not sure if he’s the same guy as used to teach at Huddersfield UNi.

I assume he’s a muslim, which might look at first glance to be bad news for Ann Cryer–potentially taking away votes from her in the Keighley heartlands. The BNP are suggesting he’s of Iranian extraction (not their exact words obviously), and, if true, this will probably have less of an impact than if they’d selected someone of Punjabi descent.

It might also, mean he gets some votes in our little ‘burg. He just needs to play up being ‘Persian’ a bit, rather than British. We still remember that nice Mr Mossadeq over here.

Just an idle wonder. Our beloved MP, Anne Cryer, while generally not too extravagant, once again came near top last FY of all MPs for ‘Incidental Expenses’. Something of an improvement from the previous year, where she actually topped the charts. Actually, she did this year again, as that’s the maximum amount MPs are allowed to spend.

What on earth can she be spending £18,799 on? Parliament defines Incidental Expenses as

This is paid to meet the costs of accommodation for office or surgery use; equipment and supplies for office or surgery; work commissioned or other services; and certain travel and communications.

What weird equipment does she have in her constituency office? Office space in Keighley can’t be more expensive than, say, office space in Henley or somewhere. Can it?

We seem stuck with this surplus to the precept. SO stuck, indeed, that various are attempting to persuade the parish council to pass the money to various veteran’s charities. Now, I have no problem giving money to veterans of this parish. But why should we be taxed and then the money passed to national charities. If I wanted to give my hard-earned away (and, obviously, I don’t), I would. Don’t steal from me and then make it compulsory.

We’ve entered mad march hare season. Everyone who has ever worked in the public sector knows the feeling. Desperate to spend that last fragment of cash, because it can’t be carried over (though IPC have managed to carry over money the last two FYs, but they’re special). SO lots of jobs get done that, uhhr, really don;t need to be done.

Okay, the new kiddies playground is welcome.

But why are we moving all the zebra crossings in town about one yard to the left (or right)?

And why are pipes being put in even when there’s been no problem with the water?

And why has Queen’s Road had its roads planed today? ANd just, when it comes down to it, what is road-planing?

So farewell to Manfred Mann as our Parish Council Chair, and welcome back to Machine Gun Gibbons. For a third term. Just as a reminder for those at the back (this is everyday tit-for-tat), Machine Gun was the man responsible for the precept we all pay. Well, I say all. Machine Gun doesn’t pay it. He lives in Otley. Yes, taxation organisaed by someone who doesn’t have to pay it.

And it’s no coincidence that his return should be accompanied by the spread of cameras across the streets around the town. Machince Gun has his home cinema set up to watch everything we’re doing. Be afraid, be slightly afraid.

So, it appears that Karl ‘fourth choice’ Poulsen (any relation of John I wonder idly?) has got the central office message down pat. His last letter to the Gusset raised the right of homeowners to protect themselves by killing anyone coming near tnhier land once again, and then started into ‘Tony Blair would pas this bill if he cared about people’.

So this is it till the election. Who can scare you the most? WHo can pretend to protect you against the pretend threats out there–Asians, Roma, evil intruders?

And so it comes down to a choice between bigot, bigoter, and bigotest.

Looks pretty certain that the current gang at Bodies have signed up with Craiglands. This will only be a stopgap, though, featuring weights, a few treadmills and so on, but at least there will be a gym in the town. The notion is to build/convert somewhere else for longer-term use. I’ve been told the membership fees at the Craigies place will reflect the fact it’s nowhere near as big as Bodies! More info from the current crew–put your e-mail addresses down for them to keep in touch with.

(And nice to see the current owners have sold their membership lists to Hollins Hall–Data Protection Act anyone?)

Sorry, but I had to share this one. The prospective BNP candidate (remember that word, it’s relevant) for Shipley joins the afore-mentioned Keighley talkboards. He picks an obvious user name. Only, he’s either not that bright or a deliberate plant to make the party look stupid. Not something they need a lot of help with…

It’s not often I do a spelling flame, but this one was worth it.

Welcome to David Hope, who was installed at St Mag’s last night (a link to the previous story, considering St. Mag’s Hall became Bodies). Nice to see all the media attention on the town. Fascinating how many people are thinking about moving from other churches now he’s here. The CoE version of the cult of celebrity perhaps?

So we got our letters this morning saying Bodies would be closing on 11th March, which is next Friday. Some notice, hey? What’s worrying me, though, is the impact this will have on the Council’s social disorder policy. Numerous reports show that people not being able to take physical exercise, not taking part in the community, are liable to hang around on street corners and cause trouble. Don’t be surprised if the same happens here. The guard at the station has already had trouble with OAPs lazing about, putting their feet up on the benches. All the old ladies who used to go to Bodies in the morning and work out their frustrations, will be hanging around on street corners, looking for some trouble, smoking.

It could be a troublesome few months.

And I completely forgot to mention, in the last post about the election, the Tory attempt to link immigrants with disease and uncleanliness. I believe that dates back to some time before Aristophanes.

Course, it doesn’t matter to the Tories that this boosts the BNP vote. A boosted BNP vote means more chance of Tories coming to power. Such an alliance has a glorious place in history too–1933 elections, Germany (which lead to the family of a certain Michael Howard fleeing to Britain). Insert over-used Santayana quote here.

How different their rhetoric is now to a year ago. This change in tack down to the appointment of Lynton Crosby as campaign director–a rather nasty Aussie who did the same role (on the same issues) for right-wing Oz parties.

Sad news that Bodies gym is to close. Apparently they’ve received an offer from developers and that’s all she wrote. Lots of obvious puns spring to mind.

So, Ilkley loses another amenity to flats. Flats which won’t be sold, judging by what’s happening next door (the old Grove Hotel remains 50% unsold after three or more months on the market), and all across town. Flats which, if they are sold, will add to the parking problems, particularly in that part of town. How long till they build on Spence’s Garden?

What really pisses me off is the way it was done. Some three months ago (18/11 to be precise) an outline planning application on the gym was renewed by its owners. At the time, they assured everyone that this was only ‘to keep options open’, and no action was planned or intended. For that reason, there was little opposition from either the residents of Regent Road or from the users. The Planning Committee refused it in its current form, but aceppted the principle of 11 residential flats so long as parking on the road wasn’t affected. I can’t believe this ‘principle’ would have been accepted if there had been any real thought that the conversion would take place (more fool the planning committee of course). Basically, the owners lied, and are now cutting and running. Cheers guys, can we have our subs back now?

Hopefully, something will rise post-mortem. Otherwise, Cannons in Guiseley will be getting a lot more trade. But what will the old ladies who use the gym for a social occassion do now?